Introduction Script (Need your guys' input!)

Yes it sounds like a fans writing. Here's some examples:

Zondekel wrote:Banjo: Another earthquake? Why do I get the feeling we're about to start an adventure?
Bottles: I'm getting out this time! I refuse to die again!
Kazooie: Why? It's not like you were the favorite character in Banjo-Kazooie!
Mumbo: Guys? Mumbo see something flying in air- looks awful lot like fat hag on broomstick...
Kazooie: Alright! Another chance to peck some witch butt!

This part screams fan writing. The entire thing is references.

Zondekel wrote:Kazooie: You mean that blue Jiggy in the temple that glows whenever we try to open a new world?
Jiggywiggy: Yes!
Kazooie: That wasn't just a prop?
Jiggywiggy: No! That really was the mighty Crystal Jiggy! It's full of power that Gruntilda could use for evil!

Another part full of references. Funny- but too much already. I could see us using this part though. Just a bit differently.

Zondekel wrote:Kazooie: Let me guess- we're off on another adventure now to find all the Jiggies in at least 9 worlds, meeting various characters who'll give us tasks for the Jiggy they have even though they have no clue what it really is, and then we have an epic fight against the witch, right?

Funny- but too much of a reference to the last two games.

B-Kpianist wrote:Yes it sounds like a fans writing. Here's some examples:

Zondekel wrote:Banjo: Another earthquake? Why do I get the feeling we're about to start an adventure?
Bottles: I'm getting out this time! I refuse to die again!
Kazooie: Why? It's not like you were the favorite character in Banjo-Kazooie!
Mumbo: Guys? Mumbo see something flying in air- looks awful lot like fat hag on broomstick...
Kazooie: Alright! Another chance to peck some witch butt!

This part screams fan writing. The entire thing is references.

Zondekel wrote:Kazooie: You mean that blue Jiggy in the temple that glows whenever we try to open a new world?
Jiggywiggy: Yes!
Kazooie: That wasn't just a prop?
Jiggywiggy: No! That really was the mighty Crystal Jiggy! It's full of power that Gruntilda could use for evil!

Another part full of references. Funny- but too much already. I could see us using this part though. Just a bit differently.

Zondekel wrote:Kazooie: Let me guess- we're off on another adventure now to find all the Jiggies in at least 9 worlds, meeting various characters who'll give us tasks for the Jiggy they have even though they have no clue what it really is, and then we have an epic fight against the witch, right?

Funny- but too much of a reference to the last two games.

Reworded, that last part would be hilarious.

"
Kazooie: C'mon Banjo, put your back into it fatty!
Banjo: I'm sorry, but with you on my back it's kind of hard...
Mumbo: Bear & Bird big whimps. Mumbo use mighty muscles to move trash heap.
"
Oh, this one totally doesn't sound fan made.

"
Kazooie: Now look what you've done bone head, there's even more of a mess!
Banjo:
Mumbo, why don't you try using your wand to clean up this mess. If you
could transform us in Banjo-Kazooie, then you could easily clean this
mess up!
Mumbo: Mumbo want to pursue career as mechanic!"

And yours has absolutely no references!


Grunty: (On her side) Come back here you smelly rat! I'll use my chin as a baseball bat!

Ok, that one's just self explanatory.

My point is, you really were mean to Zondekel. He worked for a long time making that script, and to just dismiss it like "oh we'll just use mine". Seriously dude.

Then to criticize it for reasons that yours should also be criticized!

That really isn't very nice.

I really don't want to start an argument over this- I'd've been fine with just saying at the beginning, "Fine, my script doesn't work. Next idea. Moving on." But it just sort of bugged me when you dismissed it like you did- something along the lines of "It's great and all, but I think we'll use mine instead." It bugged me, but not enough to really care. Then you and Qwazin came up with reasons, and... Well, this is what I said in a PM to Bonzo...

Bah, I don't know how to respond to him on the script thread- he makes points about it being full of references and it sounds too much like a fan game... but isn't this a fan game? Not to make mention, Rare is full of self referential-ness...
And it's not like his script isn't reference-filled, as well. He starts it off making note about them becoming fat, and Mumbo wanting to be a mechanic. His rhymes for Grunty rather suck- for example, "Come back here you smelly rat! I'll use my chin as a baseball bat!" What the hell?

Again, I don't mean to sound like mine is best and yadda, yadda, yadda, but really, I can't help but feel his sucks, too...

I really don't wish for argument over this, but if it must...

Oh, and while I'll admit I did work hard on the script, I don't know whether to agree with Bonzo's thoughts of being mean towards myself or not... I'd really rather just not say anything to cause argument...

First of all, my arguments on how to write a script was not directed towards anyone in particular. It was directed towards B-KPianist as much as it was at you or anyone else who posts here.

Secondly, seeing how we're all working as a team here we should get used to taking critique and/or having our ideas dismissed. We can't use everything we come up with just because we've worked hard on it. If I came up with a lousy idea for a scene that was really not fit for the game, but I had worked hard on it and B-KPianist would decide on including it just to be nice to me, then that'd be great for me but really bad for the project. You shouldn't take the fact that he won't use your ideas as a personal insult.

Also, bonzo, can you lay of this whole picking on B-KPianist thing? I've been seeing you questioning him almost everytime he's posted something now. That, or you've been trying to put words in his mouth. It's his project and his vision, and if you don't like doing what he says then I don't get why you'd be here to begin with. I think it's quite harsh to keep trying to portray him as some hypocrite who's out for himself and trying to hurt other people when it's obviously not true. He's only one guy and can only do so much, so I think it's a bit too much to expect him to be super-polite and social everytime he posts.

I didn't wanna say, "That was amazing" because Zondekel would've said, "No it's not". So i didn't.

I didn't say their was anything wrong with references, theirs just too many in his is all.

[EDIT] I know, my rhymes suck- if theirs anything I'm bad it, it's poetry.

bonzo wrote:"
Kazooie: C'mon Banjo, put your back into it fatty!
Banjo: I'm sorry, but with you on my back it's kind of hard...
Mumbo: Bear & Bird big whimps. Mumbo use mighty muscles to move trash heap.
"
Oh, this one totally doesn't sound fan made.

It doesn't. I don't see how it does.

bonzo wrote:Kazooie: Now look what you've done bone head, there's even more of a mess!
Banjo:
Mumbo, why don't you try using your wand to clean up this mess. If you
could transform us in Banjo-Kazooie, then you could easily clean this
mess up!
Mumbo: Mumbo want to pursue career as mechanic!"

And yours has absolutely no references!

Like i said- there's nothing wrong with References, but his just had too many

bonzo wrote:Grunty: (On her side) Come back here you smelly rat! I'll use my chin as a baseball bat!

Ok, that one's just self explanatory.

Lulz iknorite?! I suck at rhyming (i'll never be a Rap artist that's for sure lol)

bonzo wrote:My point is, you really were mean to Zondekel. He worked for a long time making that script, and to just dismiss it like "oh we'll just use mine". Seriously dude.

Then to criticize it for reasons that yours should also be criticized!

That really isn't very nice.

Well, he's not too keen on compliments. I wanted to say, "Wow that sounds really awesome! But theres some things that need to be change...", because it is a good script... but i didn't wanna get the response, "NO! It's not awesome! It's terrible!", so i just kinda brushed it off. Plus, i was really tired that night and hadn't really read it.

B-Kpianist wrote:

bonzo wrote:"
Kazooie: C'mon Banjo, put your back into it fatty!
Banjo: I'm sorry, but with you on my back it's kind of hard...
Mumbo: Bear & Bird big whimps. Mumbo use mighty muscles to move trash heap.
"
Oh, this one totally doesn't sound fan made.

It doesn't. I don't see how it does.

bonzo wrote:Kazooie: Now look what you've done bone head, there's even more of a mess!
Banjo:
Mumbo, why don't you try using your wand to clean up this mess. If you
could transform us in Banjo-Kazooie, then you could easily clean this
mess up!
Mumbo: Mumbo want to pursue career as mechanic!"

And yours has absolutely no references!

Like i said- there's nothing wrong with References, but his just had too many

bonzo wrote:Grunty: (On her side) Come back here you smelly rat! I'll use my chin as a baseball bat!

Ok, that one's just self explanatory.

Lulz iknorite?! I suck at rhyming (i'll never be a Rap artist that's for sure lol)

bonzo wrote:My point is, you really were mean to Zondekel. He worked for a long time making that script, and to just dismiss it like "oh we'll just use mine". Seriously dude.

Then to criticize it for reasons that yours should also be criticized!

That really isn't very nice.

Well, he's not too keen on compliments. I wanted to say, "Wow that sounds really awesome! But theres some things that need to be change...", because it is a good script... but i didn't wanna get the response, "NO! It's not awesome! It's terrible!", so i just kinda brushed it off. Plus, i was really tired that night and hadn't really read it.

Qwazin wrote:First of all, my arguments on how to write a script was not directed towards anyone in particular. It was directed towards B-KPianist as much as it was at you or anyone else who posts here.

Secondly, seeing how we're all working as a team here we should get used to taking critique and/or having our ideas dismissed. We can't use everything we come up with just because we've worked hard on it. If I came up with a lousy idea for a scene that was really not fit for the game, but I had worked hard on it and B-KPianist would decide on including it just to be nice to me, then that'd be great for me but really bad for the project. You shouldn't take the fact that he won't use your ideas as a personal insult.

Yeah- what he said! (Thanks Qwazin )

[/quote]Also, bonzo, can you lay of this whole picking on B-KPianist thing? I've been seeing you questioning him almost everytime he's posted something now. That, or you've been trying to put words in his mouth. It's his project and his vision, and if you don't like doing what he says then I don't get why you'd be here to begin with. I think it's quite harsh to keep trying to portray him as some hypocrite who's out for himself and trying to hurt other people when it's obviously not true. He's only one guy and can only do so much, so I think it's a bit too much to expect him to be super-polite and social everytime he posts.[/quote]
I think it's because of that beach song incident last night

[quote="B-Kpianist"]

B-Kpianist wrote:

bonzo wrote:"
Kazooie: C'mon Banjo, put your back into it fatty!
Banjo: I'm sorry, but with you on my back it's kind of hard...
Mumbo: Bear & Bird big whimps. Mumbo use mighty muscles to move trash heap.
"
Oh, this one totally doesn't sound fan made.

It doesn't. I don't see how it does.

bonzo wrote:Kazooie: Now look what you've done bone head, there's even more of a mess!
Banjo:
Mumbo, why don't you try using your wand to clean up this mess. If you
could transform us in Banjo-Kazooie, then you could easily clean this
mess up!
Mumbo: Mumbo want to pursue career as mechanic!"

And yours has absolutely no references!

Like i said- there's nothing wrong with References, but his just had too many

bonzo wrote:Grunty: (On her side) Come back here you smelly rat! I'll use my chin as a baseball bat!

Ok, that one's just self explanatory.

Lulz iknorite?! I suck at rhyming (i'll never be a Rap artist that's for sure lol)

bonzo wrote:My point is, you really were mean to Zondekel. He worked for a long time making that script, and to just dismiss it like "oh we'll just use mine". Seriously dude.

Then to criticize it for reasons that yours should also be criticized!

That really isn't very nice.

Well, he's not too keen on compliments. I wanted to say, "Wow that sounds really awesome! But theres some things that need to be change...", because it is a good script... but i didn't wanna get the response, "NO! It's not awesome! It's terrible!", so i just kinda brushed it off. Plus, i was really tired that night and hadn't really read it.

Qwazin wrote:First of all, my arguments on how to write a script was not directed towards anyone in particular. It was directed towards B-KPianist as much as it was at you or anyone else who posts here.

Secondly, seeing how we're all working as a team here we should get used to taking critique and/or having our ideas dismissed. We can't use everything we come up with just because we've worked hard on it. If I came up with a lousy idea for a scene that was really not fit for the game, but I had worked hard on it and B-KPianist would decide on including it just to be nice to me, then that'd be great for me but really bad for the project. You shouldn't take the fact that he won't use your ideas as a personal insult.

Yeah- what he said! (Thanks Qwazin )

Qwazin wrote:Also, bonzo, can you lay of this whole picking on B-KPianist thing? I've been seeing you questioning him almost everytime he's posted something now. That, or you've been trying to put words in his mouth. It's his project and his vision, and if you don't like doing what he says then I don't get why you'd be here to begin with. I think it's quite harsh to keep trying to portray him as some hypocrite who's out for himself and trying to hurt other people when it's obviously not true. He's only one guy and can only do so much, so I think it's a bit too much to expect him to be super-polite and social everytime he posts.

I think it's because of that beach song incident last night (Thanks again for backing me up in this post too Qwazin )

B-Kpianist wrote:
Well, he's not too keen on compliments. I wanted to say, "Wow that sounds really awesome! But theres some things that need to be change...", because it is a good script... but i didn't wanna get the response, "NO! It's not awesome! It's terrible!", so i just kinda brushed it off. Plus, i was really tired that night and hadn't really read it.

Yay, useless internet drama! Right, time to set things straight.
First, as I said, it wasn't so much the fact that my script wasn't used- it was more so the fact that reasons given could've applied to yours as well. Just sayin'- I really don't care that my script wasn't chosen. But if someone else wrote a script like mine and had faults as yours did and yours was chosen, I'd prolly stand up for that, too. Maybe. But it seems that it's believed I'm upset for my script not being picked even though I worked hard on it. That is not the reason, as stated.
Bottom line- I'm upset only for the fact that my script has faults that can be found in BKpianist's script.

Now as for that I chose to quote from you... Er... Right... True, I don't seem to like compliments as I look for faults in my things and, as it would seem, nothing else, but pointing out what could be changed to make it good isn't really a compliment. It's more of... constructive criticism, I think. As for not really reading it... To be honest, I don't really know what to say.
Bottom line-As far as I know, constructive criticism to point out flaws that can be fixed isn't complimenting, I don't think.

Er... Just trying to clear any misconception...

What exactly are these faults? Can you show some quotes and compare the two scripts so I can see?

I haven't really read much from any of the scripts, because I don't find the story to be that important at this stage of the production, but I doubt the flaws found in BK-Pianist's script are the exact same as the ones found in yours. I think it's a matter of opinion and taste in this case. Like I said earlier, I don't mind references if they are pulled of elegantly, wich by "elegantly" means that it comes down to little details like wording and such.

Qwazin wrote:First of all, my arguments on how to write a script was not directed towards anyone in particular. It was directed towards B-KPianist as much as it was at you or anyone else who posts here.

Secondly, seeing how we're all working as a team here we should get used to taking critique and/or having our ideas dismissed. We can't use everything we come up with just because we've worked hard on it. If I came up with a lousy idea for a scene that was really not fit for the game, but I had worked hard on it and B-KPianist would decide on including it just to be nice to me, then that'd be great for me but really bad for the project. You shouldn't take the fact that he won't use your ideas as a personal insult.

Also, bonzo, can you lay of this whole picking on B-KPianist thing? I've been seeing you questioning him almost everytime he's posted something now. That, or you've been trying to put words in his mouth. It's his project and his vision, and if you don't like doing what he says then I don't get why you'd be here to begin with. I think it's quite harsh to keep trying to portray him as some hypocrite who's out for himself and trying to hurt other people when it's obviously not true. He's only one guy and can only do so much, so I think it's a bit too much to expect him to be super-polite and social everytime he posts.

I'm sticking up for Zondekel, mind you.

And we're a TEAM. I understand him having more power, yes, but he shouldn't have THAT much.

Ok, you just quad posted.

Now I really don't care when people do that, but I am going to make fun of you for that anyway because I ALWAYS get yelled at for it.

bonzo wrote:I'm sticking up for Zondekel, mind you.

bonzo wrote:Ok, you just quad posted.

Now I really don't care when people do that, but I am going to make fun of you for that anyway because I ALWAYS get yelled at for it.

Oh yeah I can see how that's standing up for Zondekel. Makes perfect sense.

Oi... Please, don't argue... It's just a fangame... I'll just end this with my view, and then we can go on with this- new ideas, new parts of the story. Please, though- making fun of someone ON THE SAME TEAM as you isn't right...

Right then. Firsts, similar faults. I guess the main one to start with is the references. Now, to say mine has equal or less as BKpianist's would be a lie. Mine has many in, for the example that was quoted, in that single section. However, I see it as I wrote more, meaning more chances for references to sneak in subconsciously or intentionally. BKPianist didn't have as much- ending with the idea of Bottles coming up to tell what happened. Less chance for references to the last games. Not that this is a good excuse towards mine, mind you, I'll admit that, but at least it's similar... And a lot of the references I put in were more to help players understand what had happened in the last games in case they forgot or didn't play through, or at all, the last games. And Rare is known to make nods to old series (Just look at Nuts & Bolts...) Just sayin'.

Next- it sounds like a fan game. Alright... Isn't this a fan game? So of course it's not going to sound like professional Rare-quality. I tried, yes, but it's not exactly like his. Neither does BKPianist with his script. So be it.



Alright? My views. We're done with this script. I'd rather we not bring up this, but instead focus on what comes next after Bottles comes to tell the bad news. Alright? Alright. Bonzo? Thanks for sticking up for me, but I suggest you end it. Qwazin? I suggest moving on with this and, should Bonzo speak freely as he seems to and it might cause an argument, don't get involved. Myself? I suggest working on a part of the script that hasn't been done, and to keep my views to myself next time. Alright? Alright. Moving on!

Okay- when i said, "I want to stick with the original" I meant the SETTINGS. Zondekels doesn't go with the setting (being that they're in the yard picking up trash around SM and stuff). Zondekels script is good, but there's too many references and it doesn't go with the setting we chose a LONG time ago.

So yeah, nothing personal. Sorry if I offended you Zondekel, i never meant to. I hate offending people, i feel like a bad person

But lets continue perfecting and adding to the script rather than discussing this pointless argument. Kk?

[EDIT] It may be a fan game, but i want it to be as professional as possible- being that people don't really take fan games seriously. I wanna change that view.

No, no, offense was not taken. As I said, I'd rather just get off this subject and move on.
And, yeah, the settings... As I said in the post with my script, I kind of forgot the settings when I did it.... Er...
Right. Moving on, yes?

Chya! Moving on!

Alright, not COMPLETELY moving on- I've one question: Can I put my script on Deviant Art since it's not being used, or should I not because it might spoil the character Fester? ...not that anyone goes to my Deviant page, but...

go ahead- no one will know what it is anyways

Alright then.

As for the next script... Well, I'll try coming up with a few ideas tomorrow and have them posted by tomorrow/Wednesday...

Qwazin wrote:

bonzo wrote:I'm sticking up for Zondekel, mind you.

bonzo wrote:Ok, you just quad posted.

Now I really don't care when people do that, but I am going to make fun of you for that anyway because I ALWAYS get yelled at for it.

Oh yeah I can see how that's standing up for Zondekel. Makes perfect sense.

the quad post was about BKP lol.

Nice try, however.

bonzo wrote:

Qwazin wrote:

bonzo wrote:I'm sticking up for Zondekel, mind you.

bonzo wrote:Ok, you just quad posted.

Now I really don't care when people do that, but I am going to make fun of you for that anyway because I ALWAYS get yelled at for it.

Oh yeah I can see how that's standing up for Zondekel. Makes perfect sense.

the quad post was about BKP lol.

Nice try, however.

You make no sense. Either you like to twist peoples words in your mind or you're just very slow. Allow me to recap: I told you to lay off on picking on BKPianist, you replied with that you're "sticking up for Zondekel", which I assume was your excuse for your behavior (I hope it was, because otherwise there wouldn't be any other excuse and you would just be acting like a dick), then right after your post about defending Zondekel you go ahead and post how you're going to make fun of BK-Pianist for reasons other than being "unfair" to Zondekel. (quad post) If you missed the point, my comment was to point out that making fun of someone for quad posting is quite irrelevant to standing up for someone else.

Also why would you need to point to me that your post was directed at BK-Pianist? You seem to keep missing the point of everything I tell you.

You know what.

Ok.


This is a fish.

Since it is a fish, you are automatically contradicting yourself by making fun of me.

Your comparison of this situation and a blue fish contradicting me is absolutely irrelevant.

Nice DODGE, though.


Seriously, back on topic: You should quit getting butthurt everytime BKPianist doesn't do what you tell him to do.