Introduction Script (Need your guys' input!)

Kazooie: C'mon Banjo, put your back into it fatty!
Banjo: I'm sorry, but with you on my back it's kind of hard...
Mumbo: Bear & Bird big whimps. Mumbo use mighty muscles to move trash heap.



Kazooie: Now look what you've done bone head, there's even more of a mess!
Banjo: Mumbo, why don't you try using your wand to clean up this mess. If you could transform us in Banjo-Kazooie, then you could easily clean this mess up!



Mumbo: Mumbo want to pursue career as mechanic!



Kazooie: Of all the stupid idea's!
Banjo: (Kindly) I'm sorry Mumbo, but I have to agree with Kazooie on this one. Do you know how upset the fans would be if you became a mechanic?
Kazooie: Yeah, Just find your stupid wand and clean up this mess.



Grunty: Soon the day will come quite quick, when Banjo and Kazooie's butts I'll kick!
Digpot: (from a distance) I think the most logical thing to do is to quit. They've beaten you twice already!
Grunty: (Not seeing or recognizing Dingpot) Shut your mouth you stupid pot! I'll bite your face and you'll hurt alot!



Grunty: (On her side) Come back here you smelly rat! I'll use my chin as a baseball bat!



Dingpot: Oh My! A rat! Get it off! Get it off!



Grunty: Dingpot why is everything shaking, it seems as if a game's in the making!



Banjo: Corr! What was that!?
Kazooie: I don't know, but it seems like it came from Cauldron Keep!
(Kazooie points at Cauldron Keep)
Banjo: Mumbo did you do something?
Mumbo: Mumbo not have wand, can't do anything!



Kazooie: Here comes the bearer of bad news...


[End of what i've written (and BanjoBoy has edited) so far][/center]
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Okay guys, i need your input! Where should it go from here?! Remember, there has to be a plane chase (thats how they land in Jiggopolis)

So- i was thinking that maybe this could happen:

Bottles could tell them that something fishy is going on over and cauldron keep, and they should go check it out. When they go run off to check it out, it goes back to Cauldron Keep and shows Fester and Grunty Meeting and scheming. Once Banjo & Kazooie arrive, Grunty and Fester try to attack them, but Mumbo makes planes for Banjo & Kazooie to get away with- and so on and so forth

Work on the rhymes. And spiral mountain is part of isle o' hags. It sounds like it wasn't made by rare, but the mechanic thing was funny. Good job for the most part. This is definitely just a draft though.

Yeah- i did the rhymes very quickly, so that's definitely a no-no (for now). BanjoBoy123 is really good with script, I'll try to get him to help.

Spiral mountain is only a gate to Isle O Hags, so Kazooie can still say that part.

[EDIT] Which parts exactly don't sound like they were written by Rare?

No it isn't. Look. http://www.rarewitchproject.com/wiki/index.php/Isle_O%27_Hags


Locations within the Isle o' Hags include Spiral Mountain, Jinjo Village, all the Banjo-Tooie levels (with the exception of Cloud Cuckooland, which is mostly composed of islands floating above the island, and Hailfire Peaks, which is apparently just off the coast) and Cauldron Keep.

Isle o Hags is like another "city" i guess you could say.

We could change it, but what would it be replace with?

B-Kpianist wrote:Isle o Hags is like another "city" i guess you could say.

We could change it, but what would it be replace with?

"It looks like it came from Quagmire!"

Good One! *adding to dialogue*

or from cauldron keep

that's even better!

But wait, Do you think it's a bit too specific? They're supposed to only have a slight idea of what's going on.

i considered that. from the digger hole?

From Cauldron Keep. Let's be able to see Cauldron Keep from Spiral Mountain seeing as it's so tall.

They can see but can they hear

...

Yes.

It's a HUGE tower, and it's a LOUD explosion.

SO cauldron keep it is.

YOU GUYS- what parts don't sound Rare-ish, we need to polish the script! It's the most important part of the game (excluding gameplay, dialogue & music come in second).

I remember saying at RWP that we should do a voiced narration at the beggining like in nuts & bolts with the camera looking at the sky or why a shot of Spiral Mountain (while moving, just like in N&B). What do you say?

Also, I felt the scrip very rare-ish....still, I agree that the rhymes must be redone in a better way.....

I honestly found it kind of not rare-esque in any way.

But that's not to say it was bad.

That mumbo thing was definately hilarious--keep that in the final.

really? If you think of the scene the way i did, i thought it sounded really rare-ish! But it's your opinion.

What do you suggest Bonzo? What's it lacking?

eh, really just professionality (which isn't a word, but you know what I mean), and originality.

It's also the fact that Banjo isn't our IP.

professionalism? What do you mean?

And what does Banjo not being our IP have to do with the script?

I understand the un-originality part though- which parts are the most un-original so i can change em'.

Well I mean by professionalism I mean if you read the script, does it sound like it was made by Rare or does it sound like it was made by a kid.

Not that I could do better, I'm definitely not saying that.

What do you think of this:

Banjo: "Ah,this is the life. Pizza, sunshine, and not a care in the world."
Kazooie: "I swear, Banjo, if you use that line again in the next few years or so..."
Banjo: "Sorry."
Kazooie: "Hey, skull boy! What are you doing?"
Mumbo is using his staff on a rock.
Mumbo: "Mumbo practicing transformation spells, stupid bird. Mumbo not get to use transformation magic since Banjo-Kazooie!"
Kazooie: "Yeah, because Humba stole your job!"
Banjo: "Well, you were still good, Mumbo."
Mumbo: "Yes! Mumbo best shaman in game! Mumbo do all sorts of useful things for bear and bird!"
Kazooie: "You lifted a rock into a crusher for a Jiggy. Big deal. We could've done without that one. At least Humba's transformations were useful- they could attack!"
Mumbo: "Golden Goliath beat transformations!"
Banjo: "Come on, you two, knock it off. At least we don't have to deal with Gruntilda anymore."
Kazooie: "Oh yeah. What ever happened to her skull, anyway?"
Banjo: "Um, I think we just left it at the top of the tower in Cauldron Keep."
Kazooie: "And her two sisters- they were crushed like pancakes!"
Mumbo: "Mumbo don't think witch pancakes would taste good..."

That was written by a guy who wanted to help writing the script. I had him write it as if it was for B-K4. How much better does that sound?

Oh and um... i wouldn't be able to tell, being that Rare does very childish things with their scripts (ex: movie references, innuendo's, etc.)

Kazooie: C'mon Banjo, put your back into it fatty!
Banjo: I'm sorry, but with you on my back it's kind of hard...
Mumbo: Bear & Bird big whimps. Mumbo use mighty muscles to move trash heap.



Kazooie: Now look what you've done bone head, there's even more of a mess!
Banjo: Mumbo, why don't you try using your wand to clean up this mess. If you could transform us in Banjo-Kazooie, then you could easily clean this mess up!



Mumbo: Mumbo want to pursue career as mechanic!



Kazooie: Of all the stupid idea's!
Banjo: (Kindly) I'm sorry Mumbo, but I have to agree with Kazooie on this one. Do you know how upset the fans would be if you became a mechanic?
Kazooie: Yeah, Just find your stupid wand and clean up this mess.



Grunty: Soon the day will come quite quick, when Banjo and Kazooie's butts I'll kick!
Digpot: (from a distance) I think the most logical thing to do is to quit. They've beaten you twice already!
Grunty: (Not seeing or recognizing Dingpot) Shut your mouth you stupid pot! I'll bite your face and you'll hurt alot!



Grunty: (On her side) Come back here you smelly rat! I'll use my chin as a baseball bat!



Dingpot: Oh My! A rat! Get it off! Get it off!



Grunty: Dingpot why is everything shaking, it seems as if a game's in the making!



Banjo: Corr! What was that!?
Kazooie: I don't know, but it seems like it came from Cauldron Keep!
(Kazooie points at Cauldron Keep)
Banjo: Mumbo did you do something?
Mumbo: Mumbo not have wand, can't do anything!



Kazooie: Here comes the bearer of bad news...



Made adjustments.

I saw you changed the rhymes- thank you! They're a lot better. As well as a few more insults from Kazooie- nice touch!

Now what do you think bonzo?

B-Kpianist wrote:What do you think of this:

Banjo: "Ah,this is the life. Pizza, sunshine, and not a care in the world."
Kazooie: "I swear, Banjo, if you use that line again in the next few years or so..."
Banjo: "Sorry."
Kazooie: "Hey, skull boy! What are you doing?"
Mumbo is using his staff on a rock.
Mumbo: "Mumbo practicing transformation spells, stupid bird. Mumbo not get to use transformation magic since Banjo-Kazooie!"
Kazooie: "Yeah, because Humba stole your job!"
Banjo: "Well, you were still good, Mumbo."
Mumbo: "Yes! Mumbo best shaman in game! Mumbo do all sorts of useful things for bear and bird!"
Kazooie: "You lifted a rock into a crusher for a Jiggy. Big deal. We could've done without that one. At least Humba's transformations were useful- they could attack!"
Mumbo: "Golden Goliath beat transformations!"
Banjo: "Come on, you two, knock it off. At least we don't have to deal with Gruntilda anymore."
Kazooie: "Oh yeah. What ever happened to her skull, anyway?"
Banjo: "Um, I think we just left it at the top of the tower in Cauldron Keep."
Kazooie: "And her two sisters- they were crushed like pancakes!"
Mumbo: "Mumbo don't think witch pancakes would taste good..."

That was written by a guy who wanted to help writing the script. I had him write it as if it was for B-K4. How much better does that sound?

Oh and um... i wouldn't be able to tell, being that Rare does very childish things with their scripts (ex: movie references, innuendo's, etc.)

That one was actually pretty good! It had me laughing. Some parts are meh, but that's definitely a good part. Ok but here's the thing. Everytime we make a change, back up the original. I want to see the difference between the original and the final.

thats not a change to the script- it was just a sample.

I'll exchange the original script with BanjoBoy123's.

This is why BanjoBoy123 is head of the script and not me